


She’s A Super Trouper

by Includeficinthesequel



Category: Mamma Mia! (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Deadly illness, F/F, F/M, LGBT, Mamma Mia - Freeform, Sickfic, Sickness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 00:25:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15874764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Includeficinthesequel/pseuds/Includeficinthesequel
Summary: Tanya is sick and the Dynamos deal with the angst that comes with it





	1. Chapter 1

Donna Sheridan would do anything for her friends. She would do anything for her friends and she would give anything to her friends, including the time she gave blood to Tanya after an unfortunate accident in their twenties. She gave so much blood that she was laying in a bed next to her when Tanya came out of her surgery. Both of them were woozy from the event but nonetheless it solidified their friendship. 

 

So when Donna heard about Tanya’s condition she decided that nothing could stop her from being of great help. 

 

**Donna and Sam’s wedding night**

 

Sophie’s almost wedding was the event of the century. With so many secrets being revealed, new relationships forming, and Donna marrying one of her father’s there was too much to be excited about and very little to be upset about. 

 

Which is why Tanya was alone, throwing up in the bathroom. 

 

Sophie had noticed her absence and went looking for her. “Everything alright?” She asked, afraid to know the answer. 

 

“I’m fine Soph. Go enjoy the party. Your parents just got married.” Tanya tried her best to sound cheery but the feeling in her stomach and the hoarseness of her voice concerned Sophie. 

 

“Unlock the door, please.” She softly requested. When she heard the lock click she pushed it open. She saw her Auntie Tanya sitting against the wall with her head between her knees, trying to make the nausea go away. 

 

Tanya lifted her head up and didn’t even try to look like she felt any better. “I know you hate seeing me like this.” 

 

Sophie nodded. “I do but you can’t control it.” 

 

“It’s my own damn fault. I shouldn’t have been drinking like that for so many years.” Tanya sighed. She had alcoholic hepatitis. Her liver was very low functioning and her condition was manageable with the right prescriptions. In the long run she would need a liver transplant to extend her life. 

 

“You had demons to battle.” 

 

“Alcohol wasn’t the way to battle them.” 

 

Sophie sighed and sat next to her. She took some toilet paper and used it blot the sweat on Tanya’s forehead. “Your bangs were starting to stick.” 

 

“Thanks.” She wished she felt better. She wished she could be a better role model for Sophie. She wished she had fought alcoholism sooner. She wished Sophie didn’t know. 

 

“You need to tell them.” 

 

“I will.” 

 

“You haven’t yet.” 

 

“Donna just got married.” 

 

“Did you tell Auntie Rosie?” Sophie asked.

 

“We just got back together.” 

 

“Do you think that’s fair to them?” 

 

Tanya took a deep breath. “You’re so much like your mother. Always doing the right thing.” She teased, playfully jabbing her side. 

 

“I know, it sucks being the nice guy but someone has to do it.” She held one of Tanya’s hands in her own. “I’ll be there when you tell them, if you want.” 

 

“I know you will, sweetheart. You’ve always been a little angel to three of us.” She started to pull herself up but felt quite weak still. Sophie helped her up and made sure she was steady. 

 

“If it helps, I’ve never seen anyone puke their brains out and walk out in four inch heels like it’s nothing.” 

 

“I’ve seen your mother do it in six.” 

 

“Inches?” Sophie gasped. “No way!” 

 

“Yeah, we were at a party and she didn’t realize she had the flu. It was gross but she walked home in six inch platforms like nothing happened.” 

 

“Dynamos are wild.” 

 

“We sure are.” 

 

The party carried on into the early morning hours. Tanya had to sit out a few times but nonetheless she was still partying as hard as the rest of them. She and Rosie had been inseparable since they arrived. The two of them were currently in Rosie’s bed at the hotel. Tanya had her head laying on Rosie’s chest. 

 

“I love it when you try to be small.” She giggled. 

 

“I love it when you hold me like this.” She replied. It hurt her heart knowing she was hiding so much from Rosie but she couldn’t tell her just yet. They were having a moment and they had just gotten back together after a two year break up. 

 

“Two years was too long. I wish you had joined me.” She twirled a strand of Tanya’s hair around her finger.

 

“Two years was what we agreed on. It was your idea. Two years for your book tour and now we’re back together just as planned.” 

 

“Now that we’re reunited maybe we should get married.” Rosie mused, clearly just thinking out loud. 

 

Tanya wasn’t opposed to getting married but would Rosie feel the same once she knew of her condition. Talking about it meant she would also have to open up about being an alcoholic. 

 

“I like that idea.” Tanya replied. She was pulled out of her thoughts when Donna walked in. 

 

“It smells like sex in here.” Donna interrupted. She was clearly unbothered by this fact since she still sat down on the armchair near the bed. 

 

“Isn’t it lovely? Sex is Tanya’s favorite perfume.” Rosie teased. It made Donna laugh along with her. Tanya was not so impressed. 

 

Tanya rolled her eyes. “Do you ever knock?” She pretended to be annoyed but Donna Sheridan had an addicting personality that Tanya adored, even if her timing was simply awful. At least they had clothes on this time. 

 

“I do but I missed you. I haven’t seen you two all day.” Donna replied. She sounded almost childlike. She was like a toddler after her mom returned home from work. 

 

Tanya was sympathetic to this and nodded in response. “30 minutes and then we’ll be down. We’ll leave the window open too.” She could tell Donna was missing her best friends. All of their past adventures in Greece were spent as a group. This trip had taken an unexpected turn which left Donna in a completely different vicinity.

 

Donna could see the expression change in Tanya’s eyes, though her face would never allow such an obscure look. “If you want to spend the day together I can send some food up and leave you be.” 

 

Rosie shook her head. For the last day or so she had truly missed Donna. It seems as though even with a new marriage she still wanted to be with her besties. Rosie and Tanya had figured she wanted time with Sam during their honeymoon phase. Rosie and Tanya were on their own little honeymoon as well. 

 

“Just make sure there’s plenty of bread and I’ll be there.” Rosie said. She brushed a hand over Tanya’s forehead, pushing her bangs back. She furrowed her brows. “Are you feeling alright darling? You’re a bit warm.” 

 

“I’m fine.” Tanya said. She had been getting a few fevers here and there since she discovered the disease. It wasn’t uncommon for her to have one. She just had to make sure she treated it. She ran off to the bathroom to take her medication. 

 

Donna and Rosie noticed the strange behavior and decided to discuss it later. 

……………………..

 

“Do you think she’s hiding something from us?” Rosie asked. Tanya’s head was in her lap while Rosie fiddled with her hair. She looked down at the napping brunette in her lap and sighed. 

 

“She could be but what would it possibly be?” Donna whispered back. “Maybe she’s pregnant.” Donna shrugged. 

 

“I don’t know. She hasn’t hit menopause yet but she’s always been so careful about that kind of thing.” Rosie froze when Tanya stirred. As soon as she settled back down she hushed her. “Shhh, love. Go back to sleep.” She pressed her lips to her forehead. She mouthed to Donna that they should carry out their conversation elsewhere. 

 

Donna nodded and watched as Rosie carefully got out from under Tanya and covered her with a blanket. They both slipped out of the room and walked down the hallway. 

 

“Maybe she’s sick.” 

 

“Sick? She’s been perfectly fine since we arrived. I’ve spent every moment with her.” 

 

Before they could get another word in Sophie was walking past. She stopped to add to the conversation, assuming they were talking about Auntie Tanya. “Oh I know. She’s such a trooper. She’s really hanging in there. She’s a  _ Super Trouper _ .” 

 

“What? Soph, What are you talking about?” Donna asked her daughter. 

 

“Auntie Tanya, she’s-“ Sophie gasped. “She didn’t tell you yet did she?” 

 

“What’s going on with Tanya?” Rosie asked the younger blonde. Her hands started to shake at the thought of something hurting Tanya, something that could take her love away. 

 

“I can’t tell you. She made me promise to let her do it.” Sophie gave her Aunt a sad look, wishing she could help. “She wants Greece to always be a happy place.” 

 

“Sophie what does that mean?” Rosie shouted as Sophie was walking away. She felt Donna wrapping her arms around her in a tight hug.

 

“We can’t worry just yet. We don’t even know what’s going on.” Donna said, trying to keep Rosie grounded and from worrying. 

 

“That’s the worst part, Donna. We just don’t know.” 

 

………

 

“I have alcoholic hepatitis.” Tanya said. She had known since before they left for Greece. She had wanted to wait to tell them until way after the wedding, preferably over the phone so she didn’t have to see the sad looks on their faces. 

 

“What does this mean? Are you dying?” 

 

“If I don’t seek proper care, I could.” She took a deep breath, facing your own mortality was never easy. “It means my liver is damaged from all the alcohol I consumed in the past and now I can’t drink even a drop.” 

 

“I saw you drink this whole week.” Donna furrowed her brows. 

 

“I had Pepper give me all virgin drinks. I poured out whatever we drank together.” 

 

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner? You told Sophie.” Donna was speaking again. Rosie remained silent. 

 

“I started feeling sick one afternoon and she saw and asked. So, I had to tell her. She was worried. I made her promise to let me tell you two.” She noticed Rosie looking down at her lap, clearly in distress. She moved to sit next to her. She placed a hand on her knee. “I’m not dying. I’m not even close to dying. You need to stop worrying and looking like someone kicked your puppy.” She pressed her lips to her cheek. 

 

“This is worse than someone kicking my puppy.” Rosie frowned. 

 

“So you’d rather watch someone kick a puppy than deal with this?” 

 

“Why do you always ask me that. I’m always going to save the puppy but this time I want to save you.” 

 

“I’m not dying.” Tanya sighed. 

 

“You have a deadly disease.” Donna insisted. “Don’t take it so lightly. We don’t want to lose you.” 

 

“I’m not taking it lightly. I have a billion doctors back home. I’ll be fine.” 

 

“Your liver is damaged. How can you be so calm?” 

 

“I’ve known for a while and I’ve made my peace with it. There’s always hope that I can get a transplant.” 

 

“Do you know how hard it is to make that happen? You probably haven’t been on the list that long.” Donna replied. 

 

“There’s always hope. We can’t give up just because chances are slim.” 

 

“Chances are slim? Tanya are you dying?” Rosie asked. 

 

“I am not dying. Even if I were dying- which I’m not- I wouldn’t be too worried about it. Who do I have to live for? I don’t have any children or a family.” 

 

“You’ve got us! We just got back together. You have me! Do I mean nothing to you?” Rosie exclaimed. 

 

“No- no. Rosie I didn’t mean that.” 

 

Rosie got up in a hurry and headed for the door. 

 

“Rosie, please!” 

 

Donna watched the scene play out and knew better than to stop Rosie. 

 

“Rosie!” Tanya tried again. She was suddenly feeling weak and needed to sit down. “I’m sorry.” She said softly. 

 

Donna placed a hand on Tanya’s shoulder. “I’ll go after her. You need rest. You know she wouldn’t want you to chase her.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosie and Donna comfort each other. Tanya opens up to Sophie about her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mentions of suicidal thoughts.

“We were supposed to get married!” Rosie cried. Her tears were soaking Donna’s shirt but neither of them cared. Her heart was aching, her stomach was pulling in a million different directions. She didn’t know how she was going to handle this. The one and only person she ever wanted to commit to was dying. 

 

“And you will still get married. She’s not dying.” Donna reassured her. She stroked Rosie’s back. Her own emotions were threatening to spill out. “It’ll be okay. Dynamos are strong. We can handle a lot of shit.” 

 

“I can’t handle this shit.” Rosie sniffled. 

 

“Yes you can.” 

 

“It’s too shitty.” She sobbed. She wrapped her arms around Donna even tighter. Donna was always their rock, their anchor and Rosie very much needed to be tied down to keep her from flying over the edge. Her sadness welled up and continued to pour out through her tears. Her soul was weeping with hopelessness for a future with Tanya. 

 

“We’ll get through it. She’s not dying. She’s sick but she’s not dying. She could die but she won’t. She’s Tanya and Tanya just doesn’t die.” Donna said, mostly trying to comfort herself. 

 

Silence fell upon them as Rosie continued to cry into Donna’s shoulder. A long moment went by and Donna burst into tears. 

 

“Tanya could die!” Donna sobbed. “She could die and leave us here without her!” 

 

Rosie pulled back from the hug and took Donna’s face into her hands. “Tanya won’t die. Tanya just doesn’t die.” She repeated exactly what Donna told her a few minutes ago. 

 

“But she could. We just don’t know. What if she doesn’t get that transplant in time. How did this even happen?” 

 

“I don’t know. I don’t. I wish I had the answers. You know I wish I did.” Rosie hugged Donna tightly against her body. 

 

“Tanya won’t die.” 

 

“Tanya just doesn’t die.” 

 

The two of them cried together for as long as their bodies would allow it. Eventually they just held onto each other while their tears dried. As much as Donna was an anchor for her friends they were her anchors as well. 

 

Tanya hadn’t seen her best friend or her girlfriend for hours. After she revealed the news of her condition they both left to deal with their sadness. Tanya wanted to go after them but Donna was right, she really did need the rest. She fell asleep for the most part but was interrupted by Sophie coming into the room. 

 

“Sorry to wake you.” Sophie whispered. “Mom and Aunt Rosie are in the goat house. I saw them crying so I’m assuming you told them the news.”

 

“I did.” Tanya said as she sat up on the bed. “I’m sorry I’m putting you through this Soph.” 

 

“It’s okay. It’s a part of life.” 

 

“I should’ve been a better role model to you.” 

 

“Don’t talk in past tense. You’re still here. You’re showing me how strong you can be when the world is against you.” 

 

“And the world sure does seem to be against me right now.” Tanya agreed. 

 

“How did it start? The alcoholism- Sorry is that invasive? I’m just curious.” 

 

Tanya put a hand on Sophie’s. “It’s fine. I wanted to tell you anyway. I know you’ve been wanting to ask.” She cleared her throat. “When we were young we all drank a lot. It was the thing to do. For me it became the only thing I did. Instead of having lunch or dinner I would have wine to keep me nourished. It wasn’t the healthiest decision but it got me by when my parents would hold off on sending me money in college.” 

 

“Is that why-“ 

 

“Why I’m shaped like a banana? Yes.” 

 

“I wouldn’t say that. I would say stick thin.” Sophie added. 

 

“I guess so. Anyway, it just became my thing. It made me feel better. It made our nights more exciting and I found that as time went on I grew to tolerate more and more. Then, during my marriages it became my happiness. When things got rough wine was always there or champagne, scotch, whatever I wanted and no one could stop me. What was the worst that could happen?” 

 

“You didn’t know the risks?” 

 

“I didn’t care about the risks. The risks excited me. The risks were my way out.”

 

Sophie was almost afraid to ask but she had to know. “What does that mean exactly?” 

 

“It means that in not so many words I didn’t want to be  _ here _ any longer. If I pushed the limits and something happened it didn’t matter to me because I didn’t want to be here anyway.” 

 

Sophie swallowed. They didn’t even have to say the word for her to know what had been on Tanya’s mind all those years ago. The thought of her feeling enough pain to even think like that made tears well up in her eyes. 

 

Tanya noticed this and hugged Sophie. “It’s okay. I got through that part of my life and I’m still getting through it. I got the help I needed. It gets better.” She assured her. 

 

“Continue.” Sophie responded. 

 

“There were a few times where I really did get close to that point and a time where I had to have the alcohol pumped out of me.” 

 

“Were you alone?” 

 

Tanya swallowed, now feeling her own tears forming. “Rosie found me. I was passed out in my apartment, on the balcony.” 

 

“The balcony?” Sophie gasped. “You weren’t gonna-“ 

 

“I was.” She confirmed. “She got me the help I needed but of course I didn’t admit to being an alcoholic. I didn’t want to be like my mother.” 

 

“Mom told me about her. You weren’t very close.”

 

Tanya nodded. “They say alcoholism can run in families.” She shifted into a more comfortable position. “My battle continued throughout the rest of my years until the year after my third marriage.” 

 

“When you started dating Auntie Rosie.” 

 

“Yes. I sobered up and cut down my drinking to just socially. That was the worst decision I ever could’ve made. I didn’t even tell my therapist about the alcohol. I thought I could do it on my own. I should’ve opened up about it. I should’ve sworn off booze completely but like a dumbass I continued to go back to it whenever I was feeling down. However, being with Rosie gave me more good days than bad ones and even those bad ones were spent with her by my side comforting me in a way no one else can.” 

 

Sophie smiled at that. “You really do love her.” 

 

“I always will.” 

 

“So when did you finally give it up?” 

 

“Well, Rosie and I were together for three years until her book came out. We took a break for two years while she toured.” 

 

“And the two years just ended now.” Sophie recalled. 

 

Tanya nodded. “The first year was when I hit my low points. I kept going back to the bottle. The second year is when I got my diagnosis and when I finally gave it up.” 

 

“So how long have you been sober?” Sophie asked, trying to piece everything together. 

 

“Eight months.” 

 

“That’s not as long as I expected but progress is progress.” 

 

“It is and I think this was my wake up call. I drank for 20 years.” 

 

“Wow.”

 

“No wonder my liver is destroyed, huh?” 

 

“That’s insane.” 

 

“I know.” 

 

“We need to check on them.” Sophie said suddenly. 

 

“I know, I’m worried now. It’s been hours. They need comfort.” 

 

“I think I know exactly what they need.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments Appreciated! I have a lot planned for this story. It doesn’t end here.


End file.
